by: Olivia Kerper
As a young woman who has experienced her fair share of low self-esteem and doubt, I understand the struggle to find peace in who I am. On the inside, I know I am kind, I am brave, I love others deeply, and I am incredible driven. I have come to be proud of the truth of my innermost qualities because I am comfortable in what cannot be seen. When discussing how I appear on the outside, I struggle significantly more. Shouldn’t it be the other way around?
Why is it that we are taught to love others, but not ourselves?
It seems like it is an obvious solution–encourage each other that loving ourselves the way God made us is just as important as loving others. It’s the Golden Rule: Love your neighbors as you love yourself. It’s extremely important, yet we end up completely discounting that God instructed us to love ourselves as deeply and wildly and without question as other people. We are taught that others will do us wrong and forsake us because nobody is perfect, yet we are still instructed to forgive them. There is no situation in which we should not extend kindness and love to others, but what about to ourselves?
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
Psalm 139:14
Is it as easy as loving ourselves the way we love others?
In my darkest moments, I was reminded of God’s extreme love by envisioning nature. I recalled the beauty and purpose of the ocean’s waves. Without them, the moon would lose half of its function, the fish would dry up, and the earth would lose its tranquility. Each National Park that we admire and protect would mean nothing if we couldn’t appreciate its beauty. And without the mountains, where would the snow reside?
Each of these wonders were crafted with purpose and intention by God Himself. He is proud of each and every portion of His Creation, so why wouldn’t He be proud of us? He spent an entire day creating man, and then He rested because it was perfect and He was pleased. The knowledge that God placed every hair on your head and scar on your body for a reason must call us to contentment and peace. Don’t be so critical of yourself–God isn’t.
His Plan is Greater Than My Fear
I have come to understand that every struggle I face is due to my own trepidation and anxiety. The way people view me is scary, change is scary, self-acceptance is scary. Despite all of that, the Bible tells us that the Lord has paved the path on which we walk for the rest of our lives. He knows where we have been and where we will go, yet He loves us with reckless abandon nonetheless.
He knows the hateful thoughts that plague your mind. He saw you eat those French fries even though you told yourself you were on a diet. And you know what? He doesn’t care. Neither should you.
My weight has fluctuated for years. I have struggled with eating disorders that made me drop 25 pounds in three weeks, to medication that made me gain twice that over the course of a year. I can’t remember a time when I was truly secure in the way I looked. Even at my smallest, I still wasn’t enough.
There was always something that needed to be fixed. Maybe it was my skin that wasn’t clear enough or my hair that wasn’t long enough. And while this journey will surely last a lifetime, God is helping me grow more comfortable in my skin with every day that passes.
Each difficulty you face and how you overcome it will become a part of you. Give your doubts and fears to God and He will show you grace. Dive into His Word and let Him teach you how to love yourself.
But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
romans 5:8
I challenge you to reframe the way your think surrounding your image. For every negative thought that plagues your mind, push yourself to think beyond that and match every bad thought with a good.
If you think, “My skin looks terrible,” consider following it up with, “but it’s been through a lot and its served me well”. Remember that every flower has sun spots, just like you do, but we still admire flowers’ beauty.
Instead of, “my thighs are huge”, think, “my legs carry me on this journey and they are strong and reliable”. Compliment function over appearance.
Rather than, “I wish I looked like they do”, remember, “God crafted my uniquely for His purpose. Their beauty does not mean the absence of my own”.
Challenge your perceptions and see how it changes your life.
wanderlustingliv 