The Importance of Mental Health Awareness

by: Olivia Kerper

My Mental Health Story

I have always struggled with my mental health.

Ever since I was younger, I had negative self-image. It started as an unhealthy body dysphoria where I saw myself as everything but beautiful. Obviously, this wasn’t true, but that was how I felt inside.

Depression and Anxiety

As I began emerging into adulthood as a freshman in high school, I discovered the true disruption of depression and anxiety. This was the first time I sought treatment for my mental health. I was instructed to journal and not much else, but I “got better” and moved on with my life.

Sophomore year of high school is when my mental health really hit the fan. I transferred schools because my anxiety was so high at my previous institution. I felt more comfortable at my new school, but my body had a difficult time catching up. The stress of the counseling and the transfer triggered an autoimmune response in my body, causing my hair to fall out. It was then that I was diagnosed with Alopecia Areata.

This diagnosis came with a load of emotional turmoil. This portion of my life had me even more insecure than I was before, which created a fear of being around people that didn’t know about my autoimmune disease. This resolved eventually, but was disruptive nonetheless.

OCD

I lost control of my hair, so I began to attempt to control other portions of my life, which planted the seed for bouts of OCD that didn’t come out until much later.

Graduation from high school was when my anxiety became so debilitating that I couldn’t leave my bed.

Food Phobia and Eating Disorder

I developed a food phobia which was triggered by an allergic reaction that I couldn’t cope with correctly. Instead of moving on, like most people would, I almost completely shut down. I stopped eating. I survived on plain pasta and water for weeks. I would pass out upon standing–I legitimately couldn’t function. I dropped 30 pounds in a month and a half, and as you can imagine, this turned into an eating disorder that lasted me until the end of the summer.

Upon entering college, I was just beginning to work towards recovering from my food phobia and ED, which wasn’t the best timing. My anxiety, which was already above normal, started to ramp up again a few months into school. The transition into college paired with the shock that the rapid weight fluctuation and malnutrition had on my system caused my skin to completely swell and blister, lasting for about six months.

(I won’t include pictures of this—you’re welcome.)

It wasn’t until I was diagnosed with neurodermatitis, which is a painful skin disorder that is triggered by anxiety (surprise, surprise), that I was forced to focus on my mental health.

The OCD that was related to my Alopecia resurfaced and my depression came back in full force. It was then that I finally considered going on medication.

Finally Seeking Treatment

I had to have a serious conversation with my primary care provider and my new psychologist. We discussed being put on an SSRI to balance my neurotransmitter levels that caused me debilitating stress. Zoloft was the best option for me at the time, and I continued to be on it for 18 months.

This journey with balancing my mental health and attempting to gain control has taught me so much about myself and others.

1. I should’ve sought treatment so much sooner. There is such a stigma surrounding medication and mental health, that I shied away from it completely, not understanding that being on it could’ve potentially reduced the effects of my depression and anxiety.
2. Admitting to needing help doesn’t make you weak. Paired with the negative societal view on medication, therapy is not always seen as positive either. While I have had three therapists in my life, only one has truly treated me as an individual, rather than a problem to be solved. It is so important to establish that connection, and it won’t feel like a negative or uncomfortable practice at all.
3. Your story is your biggest asset in life. Share it. Embrace it. Allow yourself to use it to help others.

The purpose of me sharing my past struggles with my health, both mental and physical, is not to draw negative attention or to ask for sympathy, but rather to bring positive attention to an issue that millions of people wrestle with every day. The more we share our stories, the more we connect other people. We can help others with our experience and bond together to make the craziness of life feel just a little bit smaller and less difficult to live alone.

If you feel so moved, please feel free to share your story, tell someone you love about a struggle you have been facing, or seek treatment that you have been putting off.

Good luck, God bless, and you’ve got this!